when they ask, where is your family? why you 're not celebrating your CNY with em? no. it is the thought of you not buying new clothes, not eating the proper nice food and absence of love that kills me from within.

it has been five years. how do you even manage to pull through this five years? I cant and I will never understand. I miss you so much I feel so pain and I bet you feel ten thousands hundred thousands worse than me for the fact you're alone. Throughout all these shits.

I don 't know. Sometimes I cannot gather all my courage just to call you. Ya. not even calling you. What I could do is texting you, and I never tell you how happy I am each time I receive your text reply. I know she misses you too. She cries, she cries. I heard it when I sleep at night. I felt my other side of bed shook a bit I know she is crying and trying to not let me know. It will trigger me to cry too. There was once both of us cry. But there was only once or twice we actually voice this out to one another.

I'm angry. I'm angry at people who scold their parents or those who take their family for granted. For they do not know, and they won't know until they lose it.

She asked me to have faith. She has faith. We shall soon be one again. Please stay healthy. That is the only thing I could ask from you. Let me take good care of you and Her.