what is my feeling right now? terrible. give me a terrible term, that would best describe it. i feel horrible. first i screwed my exam. this round, i guess it is even worse than that of segi final year. i am not kidding. i remember my lecturer asked me, is it because you are in a relationship that you start coming to class late sometimes skipping class and that your performance dropped? well this time round is even worse i dont dare to think about it this is united kingdom this is uk it is not like you fail you pay rm700 and you can resit whilst proceeding to the next level

i want and i must proceed to clp i am going to live with carissa in kl and enrol in brickfields exam on next year june it is rm550 a month for accommodation plus bills and internet and best of all i think i am gonna live a proper life and i can go to the church with her too

i feel horrible terrible why am i so weak why cant i focus on myself why i have to be that kind of stupid girl that falls for guy and then

please wake up i remember asking laura to slap me the next time she senses im falling in love that was so long ago of course she never did even if she did i guess those who are in love would never listen but perhaps what someone told me before is right two steps forward one step backwards i am the kind 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 forward guess it is time for a change now i will still be 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13... forward , but for myself my future my family and blablabla

i need to sleep and disappear for 3 days a week or as long as i can to be myself back