Monday 18 August 2008

I am just a coward

I am just a coward.
1 hour and forty minutes ago,I ve just witnessed a road acc and drove away in fear,now being unable to make myself sleep as i cant help myself not to think bout the accident.What I can do now is actually blog bout it???What a failure I am.
Well the real thing that happened just now is like this:
I was driving back to my house with my sis,Evon at my side.Two of us.It was then raining,getting heavier n heavier.Stopped at the first red light along the road heading to MJC(near sunny hill) then the second one,which was the place that the accident happened.ALthough it was a green light to have a right turning to stapok road which i could ve used to reach my house,I did not and instead I stopped again at the red light.I did realised there was a motorcycle on the left land,next to me,quite bit in front of my sight though.Then there was this car coming from the back,driving on the left land.Feeling awkward that the car did not slow down despite it was still red light and it was getting very near the bike,I felt like giving a honk to that car BUT EVERYTHING IS JUST TOO LATE.Just as what i feared,the car just moved on and knocked into the bike,I witnessed with my own eyes,something,probably the bike was thrown bout few metres above the air then down,boom.Being stunted,I just couldnt help it but to cover my eyes with my palms and screamed out as loud as I can.Evon who was not aware of what happened at all also followed me and did the same(she memang lidat one,more coward than anyone)...This happened for only few seconds as i wanted to confirm if the motorcyclist is ok or what,so i tried to observe.I saw the car driver came down,smoking and with anger expression on his face(wtf)...By then it was green light for my direction so Evon perhaps being frightened kept on asking me to drive away.I think i remember I asked her to have a look if anyone injured she said she saw someone(not the driver) squatting/sitting on the roadside.So being a bit relieved and believing that no death is involved I JUST DROVE AWAY-.-
Rain was so so so heavy then that i couldnt see anything,even with the max.wiper my vision is totally blur.Walking up the staircase,i reminded Evon not to tell mum about the incident otherwise she might not allow me to drive out at night anymore.
However,the moment I stepped into my house the guilt feeling appeared in myself.
I felt stupid n regret for not doing my part to help or at least to double confirm that that motorcyclist is ok or not.As for you who had encountered this more or less similar situation I am sure you sure ll note remember what u actually witnessed.Perhaps me being nervous I doubt what i saw and wat actually happened coincide.I thought i saw something was stuck underneath the car but if that was the case why Evon later told me that she saw the bike is somewhere else.I m blaming myself for not at least do smt bout it,eg:call police.Imagine,with omission on my part for not doing anything..
a)The motorcyclist was seen by my sis squatting/sitting at the roadside.Does this mean that he is ok?He might ve suffered serious internal injuries.How if the car driver being selfish n irresposible,drove away leaving the victim in such heavy rainy nite?
b)was there another passenger on the bike?if so,where was he/she?is she/he ok?
c)will the car driver who seemed to be angry,but supposed to be and should sorry bout the incident, just commit hit and run.......and then leave the motorcyclist?
d)the motorcyclist might be injured not externally,thus he thought it shall b alright and ve no any medical check up??*hope he will be alright*
e)since i dont do anything,the police might never know boutthis accident and therefore the driver escape from his responsibility on the damage of the bike n also injuries suffered by the victim?..and i ll never get to know if the person is ok?and forever live in guilt?*hope he is ok*
You might be wondering,why do i need to worry so much,why dont just lodge a police report?I was thinking.If i was to do so,I must tell my mum first.I know her very well.She would ve told me not to be so kepoh la.In fact she ll definitely nag this and that.Perhaps she'd say,"see lar see lar...how if u r the one who get involved in the acc....see lar,who ask you come back so late....bla bla bla".You know la,the typical mum attitude.
But,i m thinking,what if my little help/action can do a big difference?Not only in assuring/determining the matter of life and death of the victim,maybe also about convictin g the stupid careless driver??????
Hrm,my deepest thought now is that...
I might be the one who is involved in the acc.*touch wood*..
This incident reminded me the way I usually drive,especially when it doesnt rain.
Reckless.Fast but unstable.Haolian,kiasu.
hrm all these might cause life/lives.

Pls.All of u out there.Drive safely.And i really do hope the ppl involved is/are fine.*pray*

6 comments:

Jeffrey said...

Glad.U're ok..was kinda worried last night...

X.Y.L.O said...

omg....u think way way way too much hahahaha

Anonymous said...

erm.... its not ur fault so u cant blame urself. In critical conditions like this,u panic until dunno what to do so u jz drove off.

Anonymous said...

Past is past, guilty is guilty. so be it.

Eve said...

*traumatized*

Sherp said...

hope u have let go of the guilt, remember even if u feel guilty, u cant change wat hav happened. the fact that u are really concerned is gd enough. don worry anymore :) glad ur okay too, coz it must hav been dangerous for u to be there at the scene. if that stupid driver in the stupid car had been on your lane... *scary*

im just thanking God you're alright.

keep praying for the victim :)